Un-sympathy

Jesus is a Lord of grace. He is grace. He is mercy itself in physical form he redeemed nothingness that is the depravity caused by sin.

We are depraved. 

THERE IS, however, good news and that is that He saves us. You might be thinking- okayyyy glad for the reminder but I've heard that, I hear it all the time, and your blog is just telling me everything my pastor just sent out in his weekly email.

I'm writing this with tears running down my cheeks and honestly, a heart full of sin-filled bitterness. Maybe not bitterness, well yeah bitterness, and impatience. I am writing specifically to my fellow believers and brothers and sisters in Christ especially at our precious institution. 

Coming home from watching the screening of Nefarious: Merchant of Souls, the documentary produced by Exodus Cry in order to unveil the reality that is super-successful sex slavery around the globe and here, I thought maybe I shouldn't have watched that.

Yeah, I was probably right. I just came off a REALLY long day of working super hard (cramming for a paper I didn't plan very well), nannying (taking care of a 7 year old oh my GOODNESS the difficulty), seeing the internship office to plan for my future, juggling housemates, lunch dates, responsibilities etc., I didn't really have the capacity. I remember this summer. I remember watching Sex and Money the first time. I remember what the scene of an empty playground looked like at the end and the question: Why are children thrown away?? I remember bursting into a flood of tears and cursing the world we live in. I remember begging to God for something, anything, to take this kind of deprivation away. The kind of deprivation that tells a father to violate his daughter, a bored middle-aged men to gain some one-night excitement out of physical and psychological exploitation. I can't handle this stuff at 9 at night, really. It's time for some Netflix and chocolate, homework if I'm feeling adventurous. 

Here is where my logic was faulty. I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE not to watch this documentary. I don't have the choice not to pay attention to the injustice that revolves around us.

Correction. Actually, I do have a choice. That's the problem. The women, men, and children exploited by sex slavery don't have a choice and by luck and privilege, I do. If I wanted, I could stay home and online shop and never once consider babies left in darkness.

This is kind of a shame post. Sorry, brothers and sisters, for hating on us but I want to. I want to tell us, (me), not to complain about having to deal with difficult issues after a busy day. I want to tell us to please dear God stop using pornography to continue the exploitation. 

Everyone is called into different ministry, and this may not be your call, but does it fricking matter? Honestly does it?

Does it?

You have technology. You can rent Nefarious. You can show it to your friends. You can support legislation that is supposed to combat this. You can pray. 

What?

We can PRAY. We can PRAY. And we better start because I'm mad at us!! I'm mad at us for abusing children and listening to them cry while they experience abuse and still getting pleasure from it? STILL?!!? Crap what the heck happened from when God created us in his image and sin took us into this gigantic hole in the ground.

"He reveals deep and mysterious things and knows what lies hidden in darkness, though he is surrounded by light" (Dan. 2:22)

This is a post about bitterness. I'm bitter, dearest loved ones and friends, that we let this happen around us. If you're gonna get defensive, I don't give a frick. And no, bitterness doesn't work because Jesus wants us to be gracious with one another in love and he gives us the capacity to do it so I guess I'll start there.


Okay I'm pleading with you now. Let us pray more. 

Please, let us pray more.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.